Please excuse me Dad,
but there’s something at the door
I never have seen anything
that’s quite like it before

Yes that’s very nice,
but in a little while,
I’m busy.

Dad, I hate to bother you,
but it wants to come inside
It’s orange and green and brown,
it’s got this very hairy hide
It’s got a big head way up north,
and a long tail in the south
And about three hundred teeth or so
are living in it’s mouth

Please dear not right now,
you just run along
Yes that’s very nice,
but in a little while,
I’m busy

Dad! It ripped the door down!
It tore it off the frame!
I really tried to tell you, Dad
it’s not me that you can blame
And now it’s in the house,
can’t you hear it groan?
It told me it was hungry,
and then it ate our phone

You’ll just have to wait,
go and tell your mom
Please dear not right now,
you just run along
Yes that’s very nice,
but in a little while,
I’m busy

Dad!! Put down your paper,
this really is no joke
It just ate up the kitchen
and now it’s blowing smoke
It’s awful and it’s angry
and it’s very, very mad
It says that’s it’s still hungry
and it wants to eat you Dad!

Haven’t you been listening?
I’ve got things to do!!
You’ll just have to wait,
go and tell your mom
Please dear not right now,
you just run along
Yes that’s very nice,
but in a little while,
I’m busy

Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!
It’s right behind your chair!
Its mouth is hanging open,
its tongue is wagging in the air!
If you get up now,
I think that you could run
You could jump outside the window
before you’re really done!
I know you think I’m kidding
but I’m really, really not!
I don’t want to lose you, Dad
you’re the only one I’ve got!

I’ve heard quite enough!
Don’t bother me again!
Haven’t you been listening,
I’ve got things to do
You’ll just have to wait,
go and tell your mom
Please dear, not right now,
you just run along
Yes that’s very nice,
but in a little while,
I’m….
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH –
gulp – BURP!

© Bill Harley, all rights reserved. Reprints with permission only.