A Walk Around the Block

Found in: The Best Candy in the Whole World

My dad said, “Take a walk around the block
Put on your shoes and socks
And take a walk around the block
You’re driving me crazy; It’s got to stop
Get outside and take a walk around the block”

So I walked out the door
I walked down the street
I said, “Howdy do” to everybody I’d meet
I got home about half past noon
My dad said, “You’re back too soon”

“Hey Dad”
“How did you get back so fast?”
“I ran”
“All right. Well, listen. I said it was a walk around the block.
So next time, would you walk?”
“Okay. Sorry, Dad.

” My dad said, “Talk a walk around the town
Quit hanging around
And take a walk around the town
You’re driving me crazy with your running around
Get outside and take a walk around the town” So I walked by the stores
Walked by the school
By the post office and the swimming pool
I got home about half past one
My dad said, “You can’t be done.”

“I am.”
“I can’t believe you’re back so soon.”
“Neither can I.”
“Hey, wait a minute. Did you run?”
“Yeah, just once.”
“When was that?”
“Um, when did I run once?”
“Yeah.”
“The whole time.” (silly laugh)

My dad said, “Take a walk around the land
Get out while you can and take a walk around the land
You’re driving me crazy and I can’t stand it
Get outside and take a walk around the land”

So I walked to the mountains
I walked to the shore
I walked through the desert then I walked a little more
I got home about half past two
My dad said, “You can’t be through.”

“I am.”
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“I did.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“Okay, you did.”
“I didn’t.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop it.”
“That’s enough.”
“That’s enough.”
“Come on.”
“Come on.”

My dad said, “Take a walk around the earth
Things are getting worse, take a walk around the earth
You’re driving me crazy
My head hurts
Get outside and take a walk around the earth

” So I walked through Europe
And Asia too
From Tucumcari to Timbuktu
I got home about half past three
My dad said, “Now that can’t be!”

“You did not walk all the way around the earth.”
“I did too.”
“You did not.”
“I did, Dad. The pyramids were great.”
“Okay. That’s fine.”
“So were the penguins.”
“Yeah. That’s enough.”
“And the elephants.”
“Okay.”
“And the piranha.”
“That’s fine.”
“And the anaconda’s.”
“Right.”
“And Victoria Falls.”
“That’s enough.”
“Okay. Sorry, Dad. One more thing.”
“What?”
“Mt. Everest.”

My dad said, “Take a walk around the moon
You’re crazy as a loon, take a walk around the moon
You’re driving me crazy; don’t come back soon
Why don’t you take a walk around the moon” So I walked by the clouds
I walked by the skies
Sat on the moon and watched the earth rise
I got home about half past four
My dad said, “What are you here for?”

“I’m back.”
“That’s impossible.”
“That I’m back?”
“No. That you went to the moon. That’s impossible.”
“Other people have been to the moon, Dad.”
“Yeah, but not kids wearing sneakers and jeans and tee shirts. That’s impossible.”
“No, it’s not, because I did it and if you do it it means it’s not impossible because doing something impossible means doing something that can’t be done so if you can’t do it it’s impossible or it might be possible but it hasn’t happened yet but if you do do it it means it’s possible since you did it and that’s what it means to be possible which is the opposite of impossible and if it’s the opposite it means you can do it and I did it, so it’s not impossible.”
Dad growls
“Hey, Dad?”
“What?”
“Can I have a cookie?”

My dad said, “Take a walk through space
Get out of my face and take a walk through space
You’re driving me crazy just running round the place
Get outside and take a walk through space”

So I walked by Mercury, walked by Mars
Walked by some comets, walked by some stars
I got home about half past ten
My dad said, “I was worried about you
Where have you been?”

“Dad. I was in outer space. You sent me there, remember?”
“Yeah, but why did it take you so long?”
“Dad. Be realistic. It’s outer space. You can’t just send a kid to outer space and say ‘Come back in an hour’. That’s impossible.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Hey Dad.”
“What?”
“Can I have a cookie?”
“Nah. It’s bedtime.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, Dad, it’s not.”
“What do you mean it’s not?”
“It’s not, Dad.”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t had a cookie. See I get the cookie, then it’s bedtime. Can I have a cookie?”
“Take the cookie.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“You’re welcome.”